This process of active(积极的) clinging(死守) to an outmoded view of reality is the basis for much mental illness. Psychiatrists refer to it as transference(转移). There are probably as many subtle variations(变化) of the definition of transference as there are psychiatrists. My own definition is: Transference is that set of ways of perceiving and responding to the world which is developed in childhood and which is usually entirely appropriate to the childhood environment(indeed, often life-saving(拯救生命的)) but which is inappropriately transferred into the adult environment.
The ways in which transference manifests itself, while always pervasive(普遍的) and destructive, are often subtle. Yet the clearest examples must be unsubtle. One such example was a patient whose treatment failed by virtue of his transference. He was a brilliant but unsuccessful computer technician in his early thirties, who came to see me because his wife had left him, taking their two children. He was not particularly unhappy to lose her, but he was devastated(极度不安的) by the loss of his children, to whom he was deeply attached(非常喜欢的). It was in the hope of regaining them that he initiated(开始) psychotherapy, since his wife firmly stated she would never return to him unless he had psychiatric treatment. Her principal complaints about him were that he was continually and irrationally(不合理地) jealous(猜疑的) of her, and yet at the same time aloof(疏远的) from her, cold(冷漠的), distant(远离的), uncommunicative(沉默寡言的) and unaffectionate(缺乏爱的). She also complained of his frequent changes of employment(就业). His life since adolescence had been markedly(明显地) unstable. During adolesence he was involved in frequent minor altercations(争执) with the police, and had been jailed(拘留) three times for intoxication(喝醉), belligerence(交战), “loitering(流浪),” and “interfering(多管闲事地) with the duties of an officers.” He dropped out(退出) of college, where he was studying electrical engineering, because, as he said, “My teachers were a bunch of hypocrites(伪君子), hardly different from the police.” Because of his brilliance and creativeness(创造力) in the field of computer technology, his services were in high demand by industry. But he had never been able to advance(晋升) or keep a job for more than a year and a half, occasionally being fired, more often quitting after disputes(争论) with his supervisors, whom he described as “liars and cheats, interested only in protecting their own ass.” His most frequent expression was “You can’t trust a goddamn(该死地) soul.” He described his childhood as “normal” and his parents as “average.” In the brief(简短地) period of time he spent with me, however, he casually(漫不经心地) and unemotionally(不带感情地) recounted(叙述) numerous(许多地) instances during childhood in which his parents had let him down. They promised him a bike for his birthday, but they forgot about it and gave him something else. Once they forgot his birthday entirely, but he saw nothing drastically(极其地) wrong with this since “they were very busy.” They would promise to do things with him on weekends, but then were usually “too busy.” Numberous times they forgot to pick him up from meetings or parties because “they had a lot on their minds.”
What happend to this man was that when he was a young child he suffered painful disappointment(失望) after painful disappointment through his parents’ lack of caring. Gradually or suddently-I don’t know which-he came to the agonizing(痛苦的) realization in mid-childhood that he could not trust his parents. Once he realized this, however, he began to feel better, and his life became more comfortable. He no longer expected things from his parents or got his hopes up when they made promises. When he stopped trusting his parents the frequency(频率) and severity(严重性) of his disappointments diminished(减弱) dramatically(戏剧性地).
Such an adjustment, however, is the basis for future problems. To a child his or her parents are everything; they represent the world. The child does not have the perspective(判断力) to see that other parents are different and frequently better. He assumes(假定) that the way his parents do things is the way that things are done. Consequently(因此) the realization(领悟)-the “reality”-that this child came to was not “I can’t trust my parents” but “I can’t trust people.” Not trusting people therefore(因此) became the map with which he entered adolescence and adulthood. With this map and with an abundant(大量的) store of resentment resulting from his many disappointments, it was inevitable that he came into conflict after conflict with authority figures(权威人物)-police, teacher, employers. And these conflicts only served to(用来) reinforce(增强) his feeling that people who had anything to give him in the world couldn’t be trusted. He had many opportunities to revise his map, but they were all passed up(拒绝). For one thing(首先), the only way he could learn that there were some people in the adult world he could trust would be to risk trusting them, and that would require a deviation(违背) from his map to begin with. For another, such relearning would require him to revise his view of his parents-to realize that they did not love him, that he did not have a normal childhood and that his parents were not average in their callousness(麻木不仁) to his needs. Such a realization(领悟) would have been extremely painful. Finally, because his distrust of people was a realistic adjustment to the reality of his childhood, it was an adjustment that worked in terms of(从…的角度) diminishing(减轻) his pain and suffering. Since it is extremely difficult to give up an adjustment that once worked so well, he continued his course of distrust, unconsciously creating situations that served to(用来) reinforce(增强) it, alienating(疏远) himself from everyone, making it impossible for himself to enjoy love, warmth, intimacy(亲密) and affection(爱慕之情). He could not even allow himself closeness(亲密) with his wife; she, too, could not be trusted. The only people he could relate with(联系) intimately(亲密地) were his two children. They were the only ones over whom he had control, the only ones who had no authority over him, the only ones he could trust in the whole world.
When problems of transference are involved, as they usually are, psychotherapy is, among other things(除了其他方面), a process of map-revising. Patients come to therapy because their maps are dearly(深深地) not working. But how they may cling(坚抓不放) to them and fight(坚决反对) the process every step of the way! Frequently their need to cling to their maps and fight against losing them is so great that therapy becomes impossible, as it did in the case of the computer technician. Initially he requested a Satuday appointment. After three sessions he stopped coming because he took a job doing lawn-maintenance(草坪养护) work on Saturdays and Sundays. I offered him Thursday-evening appointment. He came for two sessions and then stopped because he was doing overtime work at the plant. I then rearranged my schedule so I could see hime on Monday evenings, when, he had said, overtime work was unlikely(不大可能发生的). After two sessions, however, he stopped coming because Monday-night overtime work seemed to have picked up. I confronted him with the impossibility of doing therapy under these circumstances. He admitted that he was not required(必需的) to accept overtime work. He stated, however, that he needed the money and that the work was more important to him than therapy. He stipulated(保证) that he could see me only on those Monday evenings when there was no overtime work to be done and that he would call me at four o’clock every Monday afternoon to tell me if he could keep his appointment that evening. I told him that these conditions(条件) were not acceptable to me, that I was unwilling to set aside my plans every Monday evenings on the chance that he might be able to come to his sessions. He felt that I was being unreasonably(不合理地) rigid(不通融的), that I had no concern for his needs, that I was interested only in my own time and dearly(深深地) cared nothing for him, and that therefore I could not be trusted. I was on this basis that our attempt to work together was terminated, with me as another landmark(地标) on his old map.
The problem of transference is not simply a problem between psychotherapists and their patients. It is a problem between parents and children, husbands and wives, employers and employees, between friends, between groups, and even between nations. It is interesting to speculate(推测), for instance, on the role that transference issues play in international affairs. Our national leaders are human begins who all had childhoods and childhood experiences that shaped them. What map was Hiltler following, and where did it come from? What map were American leaders following in initiating(启动), executing(执行) and maintaining(维持) the war in Vietnam? Clearly it was a map very different from that of the generation that succeeded theirs.. In what ways did the national experience of the Depression years(大萧条时期) contribute(有助于) to their map, and the experience of the fifties and sixties contribute to the map of the younger generation? If the national experience of the thirties and forties contributed to the behavior of American leaders in waging(进行) war in Vietnam, how appropriate was that experience to the realities of the sixties and seventies? How can we revise our maps more rapidly?
Truth or reality is avoided when it is painful. We can revise our maps only when we have the discipline to overcome(克服) that pain. To have such discipline, we must be totally dedicated to truth. That is to say that we must always hold(坚持) truth, as best we can(尽最大努力) determine it, to be more important, more vital(至关重要的) to our self-interest(自身利益), than our comfort. Conversely, we must always consider our personal discomfort relatively(相当地) unimportant and, indeed, even welcome it in the service of the search for truth. Mental health is an ongoing(不断发展的) process of dedication to reality at all costs(不惜一切代价).